Hello, My Chickadees. Recently, my pastor, Father Patrick Smith, asked the congregation a profound question: “Do you have a relationship with Christ or are you dating Him?” Ouch! Dating denotes seeing someone socially as you assess whether they are someone you want to become more serious about. It’s fluffy and surface, but there isn’t much substance. You may hear from that person the next day or you may not… but a relationship means you’ve decided to take it to the next level.
In a relationship, you become serious about getting to know that person and you take an emotional risk to allow them to get to know you. When you’re serious about someone, you want to know all about them – the good, the bad, and the hopefully not-so-ugly. It requires you to spend time together. You generally expect to hear from them daily as a check-in that you are flowing together. The person becomes a priority in your life and you make time to spend time with them because of how you feel when you’re with them. Unlike dating, once you’ve moved to a relationship, feelings of like become love and thoughts swirl through your mind about whether this is a person you can commit the rest of your life to. You think about if you can I trust them and depend on them, whether they would walk in the rain for you, and if they love you for you instead of some version of what they want you to be.
When we are in a relationship, we care about the other person’s best interest and we do things we think will make them happy. They are on our minds every day, not just as an afterthought.
Christ desires to have a relationship with us and not just date us. He says, “I promise to love and cherish you. I will never leave you or forsake you. I am faithful and a man of my word because I am my word.” He says, “You can trust me and depend on me because I am faithful and cannot lie.” He is so passionate about us that he has carved our name in the palm of his hand (Isaiah 49:16).
Imagine that! Christ has our names tattooed in His hand. That says to me that no matter how many times I feel God has forgotten about me, that thought alone is a lie from the pit. If He has your name carved in His hand, He can’t forget about us! He promised to be our shelter in the storm and our bridge over troubled waters. The ultimate display of His love was to sacrifice His life for ours.
Why wouldn’t we want to be in a relationship with someone who does all of that for us? Probably because we haven’t taken the time, or put forth the energy, to move from dating Christ to having a relationship with Him. Relationships are work. We have to put in the effort to invest in building a relationship. There is nothing casual about relationship. If it’s casual and not a priority, it’s just dating.
Is He the first thing you think about when you wake up and do you look forward to spending time with Him? If you look to Him to be with you and work things out for you (because you know He will), then you are in a relationship. When you refuse to be worried or anxious about anything because you’ve talked to Him and He gives you “peace that surpasses understanding” (Philippians 4:7), you’re in a relationship. When you have faith because you know He’s faithful, you’re in a relationship. And when you learn to expect the desires of your heart simply because He promised not to deny you any good thing, and He plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you hope and a future (Psalms 84:18, Jeremiah 29:11), then you are in a relationship.
The great thing about a relationship with Christ, unlike any other relationship, is that it is a lifetime commitment. If it ends, He wasn’t the one who left. He has committed to being with us until the end of time. God is a gentleman and He will never impose Himself upon us – despite the fact that He desperately desires to have a relationship with us. With all that He offers, why would you want to just date Him when you can have the bountiful rewards of a relationship?
So, I’ll ask you the same question my pastor asked. Are you dating Christ, or do you have a relationship with Him?
Peace and Blessings, My Chickadees,
Gail